Red and Gold
by Satan Abraham
Summary: Sirius Black has some... interesting ideas sometimes. [marauder era] [oneshot]


Remus Lupin was almost a hundred percent sure that he would be a lot less likely to die a horrifyingly painful death if he wasn't best friends with Sirius Black.

Though James could be much the same (Peter, thankfully, didn't threaten his life on a regular basis), there was something about the look in Sirius's face when he had an idea that made Remus want to run for the hills. And Remus had lived with this for _six years now. _

"Don't think about running," Sirius said.

It was like he could read his _mind _sometimes.

"Alright, so listen up," Sirius said, beckoning for them to lean closer. They did, James grinning, Peter nervous, and Remus more than a little worried. They were out on the grounds, underneath the big tree they'd taken as their own their second week at Hogwarts and, if he wasn't about to become part of some conspiracy, Remus probably would have thought it a nice day. Sunny.

Sirius glanced around at them once more for confirmation, pushed hair away from his face, and continued.

"You know how the seventh year Slytherins are starting in on first years now, since they've got a few weeks left to torment the weak and helpless, and of course want to get as much of that in as possible," he said. They all nodded. "Well, I think it's something that shouldn't happen this year. I think we need to break into the Slytherin common room and dye all of their hair pink while they sleep."

"Really?" Remus asked. He leaned back against the tree.

"Don't mutter about what bad influences we are," James said, waving a finger at him. "We know."

"And if you don't help us, we'll only get caught and then-"

"I'll be able to laugh at you for being such idiots?"

James hesitated. "Well," he said. "And you'll be out a very precious memory of youth. But I guess it's your choice."

He could never resist it, he thought to himself as he leaned forward. "Make it red and gold," he said.

Sirius grinned widely and grabbed him around the neck, pulling him to the ground. "You're a genius, Moony!"

Remus shoved him away and righted himself, glancing around to meet all of their eyes. "When are we doing this? Spells or potions?"

"Spells are easier," James said.

"We can't go tonight," Remus said. He contemplated it, the nodded a few times. "In two nights, there's one of Slughorn's meetings. A lot of Slytherins go to those, so they're going to be exhausted, at least emotionally, and they won't wake up when Sirius is turning their hair Gryffindor colors."

"Good," Sirius said. "They hate me enough already."

"Alright," Remus said. "Two nights."

"Two nights," Peter said, and he looked a little worried, but he gave them a mousey smile and Remus forgot all about it.

…

Two nights later the four of them slipped out of Gryffindor tower and made their way to the dungeons. They had James's cloak on them, though it wasn't really big enough to cover them now – they'd grown too much, there were four of them, and really, all they were about to use it for was if someone nearly got caught.

The way down to the Slytherin common room wasn't difficult. Peter had crouched in front of the entrance for hours the night before under the invisibility cloak until they'd gotten the password. Sirius said it. He almost seemed nervous about saying it, but it opened up for them as Remus had figured it would, and then they were in.

They'd been in before, of course, but there was always the thrill of trespassing.

There was someone awake. They half-turned toward them, but James hit them with a stunning spell before they could wake anyone else up. He turned back to them and grinned. "Alright, lads," he said. "We'll head up to the boys' first, and then girls'."

"Thank God for Slytherins hating stairs," Sirius said. "No slide this time."

"Do you have a lot of experience with the slide?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow. Sirius sent him an impish grin back, but didn't answer past that.

After a bit of confusion and having to stun a third year, they were in the seventh year dorms. James took a look around and cupped his hand around his mouth to whisper. "You think you can handle them? I want to get Snivellus."

Sirius grinned and nodded frantically. They went around – well, Sirius and Remus did while Peter waited by the door, glancing out nervously every so often - and soon, all of the Slytherins supported Gryffindor. Sirius's grin hadn't left his face once. Remus shook his head slowly, hardly believing the grin that was spreading over his own face. There was something awesome about it, really.

"You should dye your own hair like this," he muttered to Sirius. Sirius tilted his head to the side, contemplative, and headed over to a particularly long-haired seventh year. He held the hair up to his head.

Remus gave him two thumbs up.

Then Peter screamed, Sirius accidentally yanked on his borrowed hair, and Remus whirled around to see James's face in a mixture of horror and humor. He had his hand on Peter's shoulder, and it was pretty obvious what had happened.

"_What made you think that was a good idea Oh My God," _Remus hissed, pushing the two of them out and trusting Sirius to get himself out as Slytherins rose out of their slumber around them. They barely made it out of the common room and into a broom closet in time, the four of them crushed together and breathing hard. Remus straightened his back as much as he could with one of Sirius's knees digging into it. "I am _never _taking place in one of your schemes again. We could have _died."_

James exchanged a grin with Sirius. "You always say that," he said. "But I know for a fact you'll be into it when we do the girls next week."

* * *

**Someone on Tumblr requested this – 'something with the marauders' is all they said, and I've always loved the Marauders, but never really acted on it? So here we go.**

**You try, Remus, you try. **


End file.
